farters have to be the big spoon...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
