if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
