I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
