remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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