He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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