why didn't you poke me back
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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