she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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