What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
