how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
