omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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