And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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