which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
God I need to hump something, right now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
