Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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