"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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