Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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