I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
