i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
