I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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