She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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