garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
