oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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