I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
