oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
