I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
