the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
