Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
