shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
