She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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