What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
