Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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