you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
