I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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