I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
