I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
