oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
