how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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