A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
