Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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