Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
