I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fuck appropriateness.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
