just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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