I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just had sex on a roof
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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