The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
