Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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