then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I enjoy the company of your penis
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
