Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Randomize
