I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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