i think my tv is drunk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
