Pants 0. Shit 1.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
