im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
